Restoration owners feel things deeply. It’s often what makes them good at the work.

But there’s a line where empathy stops being a strength and starts becoming chaos, maybe even a weakness.

And almost every owner I’m coaching right now is crossing that line without realizing it.

Klark and I were texting about this exact issue this week as he was traveling back from providing relief to Jamaica with United Survivors Disaster Relief (USDR).

Different clients, different states, different teams — but the same pattern:
Owners emotionally exhausted.
Teams overwhelmed.
Leaders frozen.
Everyone operating at 60% and wondering why nothing changes.

One client was fresh off a week of large losses. His nerves were shot.
Another was drowning in expectations he could never meet.
Another had young leaders. All good people... empathetic people who avoided accountability because they didn’t want to hurt feelings.
Another was so emotionally tangled with his team that he couldn’t see how much he was enabling the dysfunction.

And in every case, the owner believed their big problem was the people.

But it wasn’t.

It was the 4D Mix.

The Trap Every Restoration Owner Falls Into: The 4D Mix

Mike Michalowicz laid out four types of work every business needs:

Doing
Deciding
Delegating
Designing

Few Restoprueners™️ recognize this:
Nearly every restoration owner is stuck in “Doing” and “Deciding” — and starving the business of “Delegating” and “Designing.”

That imbalance is why things feel out of control.
Not because the people are bad.
Not because “no one cares.”
Not because “kids these days don’t want to work.”

It’s because the owner is still gripping the violin bow.

Too tight.
Too fearful.
Too emotional.
Too responsible for things that aren’t their responsibility.

Just like we discussed in the texts:

“They are too focused on the humans… not the process.”

“He expects everyone to achieve 100%… but can barely achieve 60% himself.”

“They skip things and won’t hold each other accountable. All friends, not boat fixers.”

When an owner stays stuck in Doing and Deciding:

• Every problem routes back through them

• Every decision bottlenecks with them

• Every fire lands on their desk

• Every client issue becomes personal

• Every team member leans on them emotionally

And the owner becomes the emotional shock absorber for the entire company.

Empathy + Control = Exhaustion.

That exhaustion shows up as frustration, unfair expectations, and emotional reactivity.
And the team feels all of it.

This Is Why Your Team Is Only Operating at 60%

Your team isn’t broken.
Your systems are.

You can’t expect your team to deliver 100% when you’ve built a business that only functions at 60%.

You can’t ask them to:

• Run flawlessly without documented processes

• Hold each other accountable when you avoid hard conversations

• Work independently when you make every decision

• Grow when you unintentionally enable their dependence

• Lead when you’ve never stopped Doing long enough to teach them how

This isn’t a skills problem.
Or a hiring problem.
Or a culture problem.

This is a leadership allocation problem.

And it always comes back to the 4D Mix.

Why Empathy Keeps Restoration Companies Stuck

Your industry deals with humans in crisis.
So naturally, your heart gets pulled.

Clients in distress.
Team members overwhelmed.
Leaders who don’t want to disappoint.
Owners who want to protect everyone.

But empathy without structure isn’t compassion.
It’s sabotage.

It creates:

• Owners who fix boats themselves instead of teaching their team to fix them

• Leaders who avoid accountability because they want to be liked

• Teams who can't grow because the owner does their work for them

• Cultures where emotional management replaces performance management

• Companies that never move past the founder’s bandwidth

As Klark put it:

“The more you don’t balance that, the more they stay in distress.”

Exactly.

You’re calming feelings when you should be building capabilities.

How to Rebalance the 4D Mix

Here’s the reset we’re taking clients through:

1. Reduce the Doing

You aren’t the boat repairman anymore.
If you can do it, someone else should do it.

2. Limit the Deciding

Every decision you make is one your team never learns to make.

3. Increase Delegating

Not dumping tasks — developing people.

4. Prioritize Designing

Systems. Structure. Scorecards. Processes.
This is where leadership actually happens.

When the mix shifts, the entire company shifts.

Owners calm down.
Teams step up.
Leaders get clarity.
Drama disappears.
Chaos shrinks.
Margins improve.
Jobs finish faster.
Collections speed up.
Everyone breathes again.

Two Final Truths Restoprueners™️ Must Accept

1. You cannot emotionally carry your team.

You can support them.
You can develop them.
You can equip them.

But you cannot carry them.

2. You cannot rescue your clients.

You can guide them.
You can educate them.
You can stand with them.

But you cannot absorb their fear, their crisis, or their decisions.

Your job is to fix the boat — not feel the waves.

Closing Statement

If your company is stuck at 60%, it’s not because you hired the wrong people.

It’s because you’re operating at the wrong level.

Get out of Doing.
Get out of Deciding.
Start Delegating.
Start Designing.

That’s where the shift happens.
That’s where leadership begins.
That’s where restoration companies finally grow past the founder.